that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize