I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
