Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
