she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
