C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
