omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
