From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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