It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
