How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
