brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
