he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
