then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
