Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
