On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
