I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize