I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
