I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
