never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize