Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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