Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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