Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize