she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize