Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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