I must be too annoying 4 u.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
