yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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