I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
