I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
