Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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