Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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