Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
