I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
