We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
