so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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