Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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