let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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