My underwear smells like fireworks.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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