Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
