Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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