i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
