yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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