Define "chronic" masturbator.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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