my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
