Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
