She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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