we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
