If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
