WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
