I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
someone owes me an orgasm
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
