Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
