I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
