Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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