All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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