wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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