Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
