i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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