i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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