im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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