So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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