Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
