i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
