For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
