Porn is love you can see.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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