nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
