first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
