How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
